Tag Archive | Women

Are You Afraid Of Women?

Hello beautiful, and welcome to my little world! You’ll agree with me that lots of guys are afraid of women because of the fear of rejection. There is an easy way to overcome your fears and develop concrete self-control with.

At first, it might seem ridiculous to think that a man could be afraid of a woman. What in the world could a woman possibly do to hurt you? You’ve probably even said it to yourself 100 times before: “I should just go talk to her…what do I have to lose?”

Yet, men all over the world and in every culture are terrified to approach a woman they’re attracted to. In fact, many men never overcome their intimidation when it comes to approaching women, and end up unsatisfied in their relationships because of it.

Well, if you want to avoid being a part of this unfortunate group, then you’ll want to pay close attention to this…

What is it That You’re Really Afraid of?
This is a common question men ask themselves when they’re confronting their anxiety about approaching a woman or even being themselves around her. Most of the time, men make the mistake of saying: “I have nothing to be afraid of, I should just talk to her.” Ah, but if you have nothing to be afraid of you probably wouldn’t be afraid right?

So how about we take a closer look at why you’re afraid? As you probably know, most fear is rooted in uncertainty and disappears once we identify the true source of that fear…

If you want to get over your fear of women, it’s important that you acknowledge the source of their power over you. That power is their ability to either validate or invalidate your position of a man of value, and believe
it or not this is a power that you willingly hand over to them.

You see, men have a different set of fears than women do. Women are more fearful of their safety and security
being threatened or of abandonment by the person who is supposed to love and to protect them. On the other hand, men’s fears are more ego centered, such as their fears of inadequacy… that they are “not good enough.”

If you doubt this to be true, just do a little research about the connection between male suicides and financial crisis. When a man feels that he is no longer able to provide for the survival of his family, he feels worthless.

This is completely normal, and it is based on the basic human need for survival and reproduction. But the problems arise when you start to base your value as a man on whether or not a woman is interested in you. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, your primal survival instincts interpret that as the woman considering you to be adequate for the sake of survival and reproduction.

Now, most men (or people for that matter) aren’t self-aware enough to realize this is actually what’s actually happening. Instead, they just chalk it up to “approach anxiety,” and try to force themselves to it by sheer willpower.

As you might have guessed, this is about as effective as hurling a water balloon at an oncoming freight train. Instead, it’s important to realize that you actually do have something to lose in being rejected by a woman and that your fear is completely rational and natural.

Once you accept this, you’ll no longer have to fight the exhausting battle of ridding yourself of this fear. Then you’ll be ready to learn how to use that fear as fuel for positive action. But first, it’s time to be honest with yourself about how much fear runs your life when it comes to interactions with women…

Some Tough Questions to Start With

Okay, I know you’re probably anxious to know how you can use this information to produce positive actions. But first, you have to be honest with yourself by assessing just what your fear is keeping you from enjoying amazing interactions with women.

Here are a few questions to start with:

What’s your initial gut reaction when you see a beautiful woman?
Most of the time, your initial gut reaction will tell you more about yourself than hours of careful self-analysis. If you are not sure about the answer to this question, make a note to pay attention to how you respond psychologically to an attractive woman.

Do you suddenly feel small, timid and inferior?
Do you find yourself immediately correcting your posture, adjusting your body language or fidgeting with your hair or clothing? Do you start getting nervous if she looks your way or if you even think about approaching her? If so, these could all be signs that you are giving her opinion far too much weight when it comes to your value as a man.

What’s your initial reaction when you sense that a woman is “rejecting” you?
In asking yourself this question, it’s important to pay attention to the word “sense.” There are hundreds of ways that you (guys) can find yourselves thinking that a woman is rejecting you when she really is not. For example, if a woman looks away suddenly when she sees you looking at her, do you take that as a rejection? What if you say hello to her and all that she does is says hello back?
Do you assume that because she gave you a one word answer that she is not interested? Or what about if you ask a woman out and she denies your first invitation? Do you get a sick feeling in your stomach as if you had just been punched in the gut by a heavyweight boxer?

In spite of the fact that this is a natural reaction, it’s important to ask yourself how sensitive they really
are to rejection from a woman. And the most important question…

What is your response when a woman “tests” or disagrees with you?
Although most men are completely unaware of it, we women sometimes throw out tests in order to determine whether or not a man is qualified to date (more on this in a later post). Your ability to pass these tests is going to be completely dependent on your ability to deal with your own fear of inadequacy.
It is also the one factor which can make or break your dating life.

How can you know if you’re in danger of “failing” these tests? You start with the above question, and be as honest as possible with yourself. When a woman disagrees with you, or starts showing disapproval for something that you like, what is your initial response? Do you feel the need to “make it right” or to convince her of your point of view? Do you feel a certain sense of fear that she will lose interest in you if you don’t agree with her or at least validate her point of view? Do you
sometimes tolerate a woman being bratty, unreasonable or even disrespectful because you are afraid that she’ll leave you or lose interest?

If so, it’s important to be honest with yourself about whether or not you are afraid of women. If so, this is nothing to be ashamed of… a lot of guys suffer from this. The thing that would be shameful is to allow yourself to stay in this position of weakness and to end
up having to settle for less in regard to your dating life.

I wish you all the best!
I’d love to read about your testimonies. Write me at bmusings1@gmail.com

See you in the next post…

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How To Wear Michelle Obama Hair Style With Your Natural Hair

Hello beautiful People! Welcome to my little World!

Ladies get in here…!

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Credit: dailybeast.com

You all know the ‘iconic’ hair style of Michelle Obama?
In this post, I will be sharing how you can style your Natural Hair into Michelle Obama’s hair without having to cut or trim your hair especially if you have a long hair like me. You don’t have to visit the salon or seek the assistance of a professional stylist with these easy steps. So, make sure you bookmark this post for future referencing.

Ready? Let’s go!

What You Need
*    Your styling comb (necessary)
*    Two small-sized hair clips (important)
*    A styling gel (optional)

Styling Procedure:
1.   Comb your hair all back. You can style the front if you wish to.
2.   Roll the tip of your hair clockwise or anti-clockwise.
3.   Then, roll the hair inwards to your hind-head as though you are using Rollers.
4.   Now, with the hair rolled to your hind-head, clip the hair to your scalp with the hair clips – one on each side (left and right side).
5.   Spray the styling gel randomly on the hair to maintain styling for a longer period.
6.   That’s it! You’ve got your Faux Bob hairs style done! Go all out and flaunt what you’ve got!

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Yea...that's me!

NB: I don’t use styling gel, and the style lasts the whole day. Use what works for you!

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Relationship Tips: Control Your Emotional Responses

Hello, welcome to my little world!
 
Do you sometimes have trouble controlling your emotional responses to women? You know, a woman  rejects
you or says something that makes you feel  bad, and you either shut down emotionally or  start getting nervous? If
so, you might think  that you are doing a pretty good job of hiding  it from her. But guess again…

Have you ever been able to read an emotional  response in someone even though they were trying  to hide it? If
so, take that memory and magnify  it by a factor of 10….that’s how much more  intuitive we women are than you guys are.

Considering this, don’t you think it might be a good idea to have control of your emotional  responses around women? If you’ve ever had that  mysterious moment where all the momentum seemed  to die suddenly in your interactions with women, most likely it’s because you don’t have that  control.
 
So what can you do about it?

First, Start With Self Awareness

Learning to control begins with understanding  your emotions. For most men, this idea is about  as
intimidating as trying to learn a foreign  language. From
early childhood, you were probably taught that  we are not to trust our emotions and that being  in touch with them is not
“manly.”

So building self-awareness by understanding your emotions might even be completely out of your  comfort zone. But once you accept that it is  something you have
to do in order to enjoy amazing  interactions with women, you’ll find that it’s  actually a pretty fun and
interesting challenge  to take on.

A good place to get started in building  self-awareness is by keeping a journal. Now don’t  flip out about this,
thinking that it’s something only  school girls do. Some
of the most successful people  in history were avid writers, including some of the  greatest leaders of nations and other influential  men in history.

You don’t have to spend a lot of time with this exercise, merely 15 minutes a day will do just fine.  What should you write about in your journaling?
Two Questions to Ponder…
 
The two most important questions you can ask  yourself about self-awareness are:
 
1. What am I feeling?
2. Why am I feeling it?

Most of the time, you’ll probably find yourself looking for interactions with women during the day  and asking yourself these two questions. As simple as  these sound, they will help you to understand your  emotions, which will give you a good head start.
 
Finally, Redirect Your Responses
 
The second key to controlling your emotions is learning to redirect your response to them. For  example, you might realize that you are feeling  nervous when she touches you (even in an innocent way),  and you might
realize that you are slightly uncomfortable with casual touching.
 
Once you realize that this is the issue, you take  a strong stance against your knee-jerk emotional  response by touching her back, or by telling yourself  that your discomfort is irrational and that you have  the power to change it. Over time, your knee-jerk  emotional response will change along with your  mindset and the actions that
you take in response  to the woman touching you.
 
P.S. This strategy can be applied to any circumstance  where you realize that your emotions are out of your  control
and causing you to act immature, self-conscious  or defensive.
 
Show women you have the strength to lead others and get the woman of your dreams.

So now you know what to do, the best way to get  started is to get started right now.

Now, since you’re done reading this post, you probably have questions about this post. Feel free to leave your comments below.

Thanks for reading.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
 

How To Get Past Her Defenses

Hello, and welcome to my little world.

In the last post on Relationship Tips we talked about some very simple ways to deal with heartbreak by not “mourning” a broken relationship.

How has it been working out for you so far?
 
Are you feeling like there is a piece of the puzzle missing? If so, then let’s go ahead and get into  today’s gist so you can get the whole picture.
 
By the way, you might be realizing that you’re  going to need greater control over your emotions.  Don’t worry, we’ll be getting around to that probably in the  next post…but for now…

Why Do Women Need Defenses?
 
You know, I used to think it was puzzling that a woman who was clearly looking for  the right man would have her dukes up. I mean how can  you
possibly give anyone a chance if you won’t let them  close enough to find out who you really are?
 
Picture it this way: how many times are you  solicited by businesses to spend money? You have sales  people calling you on the phone, on your television,  on the radio, knocking on your door and blowing up  your email box. How could you possibly give your  attention, let alone your money, to even half of them?
 
It’s just too much information…so you’ve probably got to be saying “no thanks” or “not interested” haven’t
you? You’re doing this so often that most of the time  you don’t even know what you’re not interested in!  So how can you blame a woman who’s probably getting  approached at least a dozen times a week?
 
How can you get past her defenses and set yourself apart from all the other men competing for her attention?

Here are five simple things that you  can do:
 

1. Don’t Hover

Hover close to her, glance at her occasionally  or even stare at her. The longer that you do this  without approaching her, the more defensive she is  going to be. In fact, you might completely ruin your  chances of
meeting her before you even open your mouth.
 

2. Don’t go out alone

Take a friend with you when you go out, preferably  a female friend. If a woman sees that you have friends, it
demonstrates to her that you have some pre-selected  social value. This sends her the subconscious message  that you are at least a halfway normal person. It also shows her that you have a life and this helps you to know that you won’t be one of those clingy, needy types.
 

3. Talk to Everyone (not just her)
 
This is really effective when it comes to getting  a woman to lower her defenses. In fact, if you are in  a
situation where you can talk to people around her without speaking directly to her, she’s eventually going to wonder:
“Who is this guy? He’s talking to  everyone but me… I wonder why.” This will show her  that you are friendly and will keep her from thinking  that you are talking to her just to hit on her.  If you do this the right way, she may even approach  you first. LOL
 

4. Master the Walk Away
 
Unless you are in a situation where you will lose  the chance to talk to her again, get into the habit  of walking away from the conversation temporarily.  This will show that you are not needy and will help  her relax. If the conversation which you start, but  don’t finish, is interesting enough you might even  get her to approach you
to continue it.
 

5. Wait on the Introductions

Sometimes it can be a mistake to introduce  yourself to
the woman right away. After all, what  is every other man
doing to get her attention?  Probably the old: “Hi I’m___, what’s your name?”  Much like the walk away, this will demonstrate to  her that you are not needy and will bring
her  defenses down.
 
As simple as these may sound, you might be  surprised at the difference they make!

Now, I would love to hear from you, what do you think about this post? Feel free to leave your comments below.

Thanks for reading.
Enjoy the rest of your day!

Relationship Tips: How To Deal With Break-Up

Hello and welcome to my little world!
Have you ever had your heart broken?

If not, you’re either the most fortunate person on the planet or you haven’t really lived. Everyone at some point has been through a bad break up, and they can be really hard to recover from. But since you have to get on with your life and continue your search for the right woman, what can you do to make a healthy recovery from a break-up?

While it can sometimes feel like the end of the world and you might think that you’ll “never love that way again,” there is a way that you can recover and get on with your life…and sooner than you think…
 
Who Died?
Are you treating your break up like a mourning period for the death of someone you loved? If so, the first
thing to ask yourself is if a “mourning period,” is really the best way to recover. The majority of people spend weeks, or even months, after break ups without dating anyone or even considering a relationship at all. The problem with following this pattern is that the majority of people are not very successful in their relationships (just
look at the divorce rate or how few people are happily
married).
 
So unless she died, there’s no reason to mourn. Get on with your life and get back in the game. If you’re not ready to get serious, then don’t. But you never
know what you might miss out on simply because you are waiting for the “right time,” or because you’re having
a mourning period.
 
You know, Martin Luther King once said “There is never a wrong time to do the right thing.” Billions of people have gone to the grave with their greatest dreams still in their imagination because they waited for the “right time.” If you spend too much time
mourning your past relationship, you might just miss out on your chances at something amazing.
 
But what do you do if your emotion is so bad you can’t move on?
 
Get Outside of Yourself
The best way to snap yourself out of emotional pain is to help someone else who is less fortunate than you are.
No, this does not mean that you have to turn into Mother Theresa or Robin Hood. But there is ALWAYS someone who is suffering more than you are and the more aware you are of their pain, the less consumed you’ll be by yours.
 
A break up may not be the end of the world…but it sure does feel that way and the more you sit in the dark and lick your wounds, the worse it’s going to get. If you want to get over your pain, get outside of yourself, get over yourself and you’ll find a strength
and motivation that you were completely unaware of.
 
This isn’t just for the sake of surviving a break up. Making a contribution to less fortunate people will help you to become more compassionate, which will make a big difference in how you relate to women.
 
If you’re unsure how to get started on this, start doing some searching about non-for profit organizations or homeless shelters in your area. If this is too much for you, start by finding a friend of yours that needs your help with something and offer your time to them. The personal benefit will be well worth it.
 
Finally, Put a High Value On Yourself
Most of the time, the pain of a break up comes from the feeling that you lost something of great value. Instead of taking on this mindset, put a
high value on yourself and tell yourself that she lost out on something great, and that some woman out there will be very lucky to have you. This alone will make the break up much less humiliating and painful.
 
I hope this helps if you’re in the stage of transition. Just be sure to take action with what you just learned.
 
Remember, it’s okay to feel like you aren’t ready to walk away from your old relationship. But when you do come back to it, do it with a clear
head, a game plan, and some dignity.